The new school year is approaching fast and for many it’s a time of mixed feelings: sadness that lazy summer days are coming to an end, relief that the days will once again resume normal structure, frenzy over back-to-school shopping, stress over paperwork and perhaps disbelief that your child is already going to kindergarten/middle school/high school… If you are in a new country getting yourself and your kids ready for the school year, there are likely more and bigger questions on your mind as well, ranging from figuring out which school to attend to language concerns to educational compatibility and how to make new friends.

The biggest question of all when preparing for school in a new country is often what type of school to choose: local or international? To some extent this is an economic matter, as a private international school will be fee based. It is also a matter of what kind of experience you want your child to have. A local school will be a more immersive experience whereas an international school will cater to a global community that is in general more fluid. It is a decision that requires some thought and planning and factors in future expat assignments for example.

A friend of mine whose family are ‘serial expats’ (for lack of a better word) always send their children to international schools as they know they’ll be moving to a different country every few years. This way their children have gotten a sense of academic coherence and structure in spite of changing not just schools, but countries, every couple of years.

A big stressor for many has to do with paperwork and whether you are new to a school or not, there is typically many pieces of information to be collected and provided: vaccination papers, academic records, class selection for older children, athletic clearance for sports participation, emergency contact information to list just a few. My own strategy is pretty simple: to take care of each piece as soon as it comes up, put it to the side for a later date and I am likely to forget. I know others who save everything for a specific date and take care of it all at once, and yet others who wait till the last minute and somehow still make it work.

Luckily these days, most school districts have websites where details and due dates are posted along with printable forms and instructions. Oftentimes, you can submit most, if not all, information online. Also keep in mind that school administration offices typically open well before school starts, allowing for hands-on help if needed.

Harder to prepare for, and perhaps more nerve-racking, is how learning in a foreign language will impact your child’s school experience. Will he/she fall behind, what kind of extra help can be expected, how will classmates react? Reading about what to expect and learning some strategies for how you can help is a good start. If you know someone who has experienced the same situation, find out how they prepared. Talk to your school about what extra help your child may be entitled to. Also, be prepared to be involved and active in supplying help and support, not just at home with homework, but possibly at school as well.

We all want our children to have good friends and feel at ease in their social lives. For families moving to a new country the question of making friends is often one of the biggest concerns. It is a natural worry and one that can’t be easily put to rest, though perhaps sometimes the worry is more in the heads of the parents than the children themselves. And while there is no one-fix-all-solution to making friends, there is always a point to being prepared and open to ideas. A good book to read on the topic is “Helping Expat Kids Thrive: Advice on Schooling, Making Friends & Fitting in Abroad” by Elizabeth Ballard.

Here are some additional resources:

What to think about when choosing schools
How to help your child settle in at school
How to help your child make friends
Other useful sources: Globiana Schooling, Expat child

Sources:

Expatchild.com
Expatinfodesk.com

By: Felicia Shermis

Fyodor Dostoyevsky put his finger on it when he said: “Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.” Most of us are aware of the importance of open and honest communication – with our partners for sure, as well as with our parents, children, friends and co-workers. A move abroad can easily put a wrench in relationships or a wedge between people who care deeply for each other. Communication gets disrupted and frames of references get shifted — all of a sudden it’s as if you no longer speak the same language.

Communication can go wrong early in the relocation process if you are not proactive and mindful. Being on the same page in terms of understanding how a decision to relocate abroad has come about is important. For a couple this may mean taking a closer look at how it actually happened and then start a conversation from there. Was it a true consensus decision, or more of an “ok, I’ll do it” on one partner’s end? The way the decision was made likely impacts the communication needed in order to ensure a successful relocation.

Another example would be the kind of expectations grandparents have in keeping in touch with their relocated grandchildren. Has there been a discussion regarding what’s going to happen? Are they going to call once a week for a quick chat, will they be using Skype to read bedtime stories several times a week? Once expectations have been communicated and a plan agreed upon, it’s easier to focus on the important part: the actual communication.

I recently heard an interview with the artist Joanna Newsom in which she explained her song writing process. She said that when her goal is to convey a particular message, she breaks it down into the smallest part necessary in order to convey her meaning, and then she builds upon that. I feel like the same is true in relationships – sometimes you just have to start with the most basic of thoughts and then move it forward step by step. But, that can be easier said than done and sometimes you need help to know where to start.
So, what do you do if you feel stuck and don’t know how to establish good communication? There is a lot of information on the Internet, from personal blogs, expat websites and social forums to newspaper articles and podcasts on a wide variety of related subjects. A couple of websites to take a look at are Expat Therapist and Expat Child. A podcast to explore is The Bittersweet Life. Some news sources, such as The Wall Street Journal and BBC for example, have dedicated expat sections with personal blogs as well as reporting. All of these sources can be useful in finding insights, seeking advice or preparing for an international relocation.

For those who want more hands-on help there are therapists who specialize in expat issues, and relocation and cultural adaptation coaches who can give guidance. There are also many books on the topic, a few that might be worth checking out are:

• Expat Teens Talk, by Dr. Lisa Pittman & Diana Smit
• Subtle Differences, Big Faux Pas, by Elizabeth Vennekens-Kelly
• How To Be a Global Grandparent: Living with the Separation, by Peter Gosling and Anne   Huscroft
• The Good Shufu: Finding Love, Life and Home on the Far Side of the World, by Tracy Slater
• Unrooted Childhoods: Memoirs of Growing Up Global, by Faith Eidse and Nina Sichel

Journaling is recommended by many professionals as a way to sort through expectations and desires for personal growth and understanding, and it can serve as a source for starting a dialog with other people. Considering how we communicate is also important. There is so much great technology available that it is easy to forget that sometimes a real face-to-face conversation is needed, not just a quick text message to say ‘hi’ or a poke on Facebook. Good news is that today’s technology allows for just that.
By: Felicia Shermis

An interview by Felicia Shermis

When Camilla Degerth and I talk at the beginning of June she is just about to move – again! This time it’s not a big international relocation, which has been the norm, but rather a smaller cross-town affair. Nevertheless, it’s a busy time for Camilla and her family and I am grateful she is taking time out of her busy day to chat with me.

Camilla is a professional relocation coach, working with Globiana as well as running her own business. And, while she has a trove of professional experience in the field of relocation, she has just as much personal experience. As a matter of fact, when talking with Camilla you get the sense that she was destined to become a citizen of the world.

Camilla has lived in the US, Australia, France, Switzerland and the UK. She grew up in Finland and then moved to Sweden where she spent her teenage years. Camilla was about ten when she decided she wanted to go to the US as an exchange student. She explains: “I had a grandmother with twin siblings who lived in different parts of the world; when they came home to visit with their families and friends, I was exposed to their stories and to different languages. This made me curious, I think this is where the seed was sown.”

Camilla did eventually go to the US and she got a US high school diploma, which opened up options for further studies abroad. She was accepted to a hotel management school in Switzerland. “But, she admits, my curiosity of traveling was more important than the actual studies.” After studying abroad for many years she moved back to Sweden where her mom and sister still live. She met her now husband and their three children were all born there. For several years they felt settled. But, before long, her husband’s job took them to the UK, back to Sweden and then the US; eventually they landed back in the UK about two years ago.

I ask Camilla if it has been hard on the kids to move as much as they have and how they have handled homesickness and culture shock. She is not sure she would say they have homesickness these days, they have moved so many times. However, she does see emotional dips in her kids and herself; days when they don’t want to go to school or where you miss certain friends. She says: “You are meant to have these emotions, they are healthy. For the first year of a move we have a bit of a deal with our kids. They can take a few ‘mental health days’ and stay home from school if they are having a tough day, no questions asked. I don’t want to push them. I know what it is like, I have been there myself.”

As for how to prepare for relocation, Camilla says being knowledgeable about your new location and being aware of what you are getting yourself into are the two most important things, so do your research! She believes any successful international move starts with the following mindset: “Be true to yourself. This is not the right time to change yourself, but rather find a way to keep the important things in your life the same.”

Camilla shares a practical example of what she means: “I hate spending time in the car, stuck in a traffic jam. So, I have learned to research living areas thoroughly to make sure we have easy commutes to school and activities. It is really important to me and it makes a difference for our relocation success.”

While her husband’s job has taken them around the world, Camilla has stayed professionally active as well, either working or volunteering in order to keep her career alive. As an accompanying spouse, flexibility is a must and Camilla has adjusted and improvised when circumstances have so dictated.

As an example, while in the US she did not have a work visa, so she opted to volunteer at the English Language Learners’ Alliance. Camilla’s role became to help other families with emotional support during their relocation experiences. She found that she was good at it and that she liked it and decided to train to become a certified coach. This is how she ended up in the field of professional relocation coaching. She says: “Globiana’s career coaches talk about the importance of staying active even if you can’t work, by volunteering for example. They are so right!”

As for the future, Camilla says: “We may have reached our relocation limit. Our oldest is in college and he pretty much makes his own decisions. Because he doesn’t have local friends where we currently live (he graduated high school in the US), we don’t see him a whole lot. When I think about the future and our two younger children, I wonder if it isn’t time to settle down and have a true base, for us and for the kids.”

By: Felicia Shermis

Raising a family in a multicultural setting can be really hard. There are so many potential pitfalls and opportunities for misunderstandings. Getting to a point of comfort and agreement with your partner, your children and your larger community, takes work and compromise. You are likely to have to take a serious look at what you want out of your multicultural arrangement: what are you willing to live with, what can you give up, and what can you absolutely not do without. But, if you are proactive and open-minded, being multicultural has all the ingredients for making you a stronger, more flexible and tolerant family.

A friend of mine who grew up in India and who is married to a Scandinavian has experienced both the good and the bad of being a multicultural family. Visiting her parents in India has often been fraught with tension as they have not been particularly happy about the matchup in general. Early on in the relationship, when she wanted to come visit her hometown with her spouse and children, her parents said “no”. Social pressure made them feel like they may not be accepted if their daughter was married to a white man and had children with him. They just could not bear the scrutiny of their town and instead asked to meet in a big city where they could be anonymous.

While her parents’ decision upset her, she also knew that she wanted her children to have a relationship with their grandparents. So, the family decided to accept the “compromise” and meet elsewhere. As is often the case, time has helped my friend and her parents come together and now, some ten years later, they have a good relationship. But, it has required many small deliberate steps in order to get to a point where they have an understanding and acceptance for each other.

When my friend’s children were young, the family decided to move to Scandinavia so that they would have a family network to rely on. There, the hurdles were different. The immediate family welcomed them with open arms and couldn’t be happier. However, society as a whole had a harder time accepting their blended family. They stood out and the language barrier added to the feeling of not fitting in. In the end, they stayed only a couple of years. They decided to move back to Silicon Valley where being multicultural is perhaps more the norm than not, and fitting in is easier. The tradeoff is that they live far from any family support network. It was a compromise they felt they had to make in order to feel at home and at ease as a family.

It is important for family members to discuss how you want it to be and what your expectations are. What will be the role of extended family? What about language, religion, cultural traditions and holidays — how will your family approach these issues? How will you make them into your very own multicultural family blend? How you deal with these types of situations, will determine what experience you’ll have.

By: Felicia Shermis

My bicultural self has been working overtime these last few months and as far as I can tell, it has mostly to do with this year’s US election. I find myself uttering the following a whole lot: “…as a European, I don’t quite understand…” I don’t know why, but this election cycle, more than any other during my 20 years here, has me baffled and a little lost. I am not sure if it is because of the candidates, the topics being discussed, or the fact that much of what I read, see and hear is like a reality show on steroids and not a serious political debate in the tradition of a western democracy. This is not a blog about politics, I promise, it’s just that it has been a long time since I have felt so different from what appears to be mainstream America.

Moreover, it has been a long time since my friends and family back home have sounded so confounded and have asked so many questions about what is going on over here. And it has been a long time since I have had to say, “I don’t know, I don’t have a clue” when responding. Usually I feel comfortable shedding light on cultural phenomena in the US, and for years now I have considered myself fairly fluent in ‘being bicultural’. I have been able to move about competently in both cultures, feeling confident that I understand what is going and that I can express myself appropriately.

Developing a bicultural identity is not something that comes easily. It has taken me a while to balance my Swedish and American selves and function as a whole person in both cultures. For many years for example, I was playing name acrobatics. I wasn’t quite sure if I should Americanize the pronunciation of my name, so sometimes I did and other times not. My mom would always scold me if she was with me when I used the Americanized version of my name. She could not understand why I would want to twist my name to sound more native when to her it was perfectly fine the way it was.

I find it very comforting that my kids, who are all born and raised here, identify very strongly with their Swedish heritage. My oldest even lists my old hometown as her hometown on social media profiles (which is a stretch). As my son has gotten older he has started wondering why we didn’t give him a more Swedish sounding name and all of a sudden he wants to speak Swedish with me (which he never wanted to do as a younger child). I think because they feel so at home here in the US, because they know all the rules for social engagement, having access to this other culture and heritage is a plus to them. It enriches them rather than hampers them. It sets them apart, but it doesn’t place them on the sidelines.Some years ago, I decided to stick to my Swedish pronunciation regardless of where I was on the planet. Maybe I felt immersed enough that I was now comfortable with my foreign sounding name. Some of my long term American friends who have known me by my US pronunciation are a little surprised to hear me say my name in Swedish and they ask me what the deal is. I have no explanation other than that I had been trying to fit in and make life a little easier.

—Felicia Shermis

We live in a time where information can be presented, exchanged and consumed at the touch of a button, where no detail is too small to share and the potential audience can be anywhere in the world. A resume created by an engineer in Shanghai can be read by a manager in Silicon Valley; a job interview can be conducted online and networking does not necessarily mean a face-to-face meeting with a handshake at the end. But, with ease of communication comes a higher demand on awareness and thoughtfulness of how, where and what you are communicating.

Marlies Lloyd is a career coach at Globiana and a well-known career transition expert. She is a global citizen who has lived and worked in Europe, Canada and the US. Read our interview here:

Why is it important to keep your resume up-to-date, even when currently employed?
You never know when you will need your resume so keeping it up-to-date will make sure you don’t have to spend too much time on it when you do need it. Keeping your resume up-to-date also serves as a way to reflect and see where you are; what skills are lacking, what skills do you need to continue to use or deepen? What keeps you marketable and employable? Schedule a resume date every three months and see if you are still on par with what your next step is.

Why is it important to have a good resume?
The resume is your first introduction to who you are, what you can do and your value (why you?). A good resume is always customized to the position you are applying for. It is crucial to have a good understanding of what the job is about and how your experience is aligned with what is being sought.

What sets apart a good resume from a bad one?
A good resume will contain all the right keywords and it uses the language found in the job posting. This way, the reader understands that you are a good fit for the position. A good resume aligns the responsibilities of the position with examples of your previous experience and it highlights your actions and the results they have yielded.

How do you know which keywords to use?
Keywords are not hard to find; there are several methods you can use:

• Pick about 5 job descriptions for a similar position and look for frequently used wording such as “global” or “international”, and use those throughout your resume. You can also copy and paste the job descriptions in a word cloud tool such as worldle.net. This tool creates a word cloud of frequently used wording.
• Use a search engine and type: “keywords project manager” for example, this should give some typical results.
• Read professional magazines and articles specifically related to your function. You should be able to pick up industry keywords there.
• Use LinkedIn Pulse to help you create a feed of the function, industry or expertise area with the latest posts to keep up to date on the language and keywords used.

What should I think about when writing a resume?
A basic, standard resume should be no more than two pages and it should have the job title and reference number as the title. It should contain a summary of technical skills (if applicable), professional experience, additional experience (anything beyond 10 to 15 years) and education. If you recently graduated college, you would start with education and then professional experience.

What are the most common mistakes people make when writing resumes?
Some common mistakes are:

• Not customizing the resume to the position and not utilizing the keywords or adapting the jargon of the industry. Remember, if you are applying online there usually is an “applicant tracking system” which tracks keywords. If the keywords are not used you will remain in the so-called “black hole” – your resume will go unnoticed.
• Applying for a position you are over-qualified for. If you are over-qualified, the recruiter or hiring manager may wonder if you will get bored quickly or if you are simply using this job as a stepping stone and therefore will not be committed.
• Not addressing “the gap” (having been out of work for a year or longer). Hiring managers and employers want to know that you are up to date. It is fairly simple to address the gap; you can indicate relocation, school or use community experience such as volunteer work on your resume. If you haven’t had the opportunity to go back to school then look at online platforms such as Coursera or Lynda, you can add that as part of your education under a heading of self-study.

How does activity on social media impact current and future employment?
Social media is important because it provides visibility and a way to network with people. Good social media sites for professional purposes are LinkedIn and Twitter, or Github for technical people, to name a few. Soon, traditional resumes will be replaced with online profiles, so having a presence on LinkedIn will benefit you in the long run. It is fairly common to provide your LinkedIn URL on your resume.

Can social media exposure have a negative impact on current and future employment?
Absolutely! Social media creates visibility and you never know who knows someone you may be working with or for. HR (Human Resources) and recruiters may do a search for your name on a search engine or a social media tool such as Google, Facebook, Instagram or twitter. So make sure whatever you post cannot come back to haunt you. Of course, this does not mean you should never post, it just means you have to be mindful of what you post. Ask yourself the following questions: what is the message I am sending? Will I be ok if my current or future employer reads this? What kind of messages do I want to post to show my expertise?

Also, think about what your social media strategy is. We tend to believe that only big companies have to develop a strategy for how to project to society who they are. However, in today’s social media driven culture it is important to develop a personal one as well.

Google yourself to see what is currently visible about you or your name. What comes up when entering your name? Is this you or someone else? Check your settings on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to make sure they are set to private.

Is networking important?
Yes, networking is important! More than 70% of all positions are filled through referrals. Networking can be done online and through face-to-face meetings. If you are looking for a job, schedule 70% of your job hunt for networking purposes; have coffee with someone, volunteer at a non-profit, use meetup.com and professional association chapter meetings to get to know new people. Meeting people is essential for success in the job hunt as well as for keeping up in your current position. Even if you are shy, find a group that you have something in common with, such as a hiking group, and start building relationships that way.

How do you define networking?
Networking is gathering and sharing of information, it is NOT asking for a job! Networking is about building relationships — whether professional or personal. When you are getting to know people your main goal is to find what you have in common. Once you have established a relationship and the other person knows who you are and what you are looking for that is when you may be able to reap professional benefits from your connection. You never know who the other person knows or how they may be able help you.