Sustainability Across the World

There are few things as important as the issues of climate change and sustainability right now. In a way, these topics have become a unifier for people across the globe. Not because everyone feels the same about them but because they are discussed everywhere, and if nothing else, there is a collective awareness surrounding them. 

While most societies have measures in place to encourage sustainability and counter climate change, they look different depending on where you are. Not just the practical ways of everyday sustainability such as recycling, but also when it comes to the bigger picture of environmentally and socially sustainable values and how they are discussed and addressed — what role they play in a country’s culture at large. For those of us who move between different parts of the world, that means there is a lot to learn when arriving in a new place. 

And a common concern when moving abroad is indeed how to keep up a sustainable lifestyle. How does it work in the new place — how do you recycle, what kind of vehicles can you rent, are there incentives for buying an electric car? What energy alternatives are there? Is there a comprehensive public transport system? And, whether relocating or not, there is always the question of how to travel with minimal impact.

Having recently returned to California after spending a couple of months in Sweden, I have had reason to reflect on some of the differences you come across regarding how sustainability is addressed and “lived” in another country, and how it exists in the consciousness of people.

Recycling is a good example — it’s second nature to most of us by now. But how and what we recycle varies from country to country (and sometimes city to city). While it takes a little more work, I have come to appreciate the recycling system found in Sweden where you sort and take your recyclables to communal centers. There are specific bins for specific items. And because you are responsible for sorting your own stuff, I find that I am more aware of what I am using and how I am discarding it. In the town in California where I live, there is an “out of sight, out of mind” kind of effect, as paper, plastic, glass, etc. are all thrown into one big bin to be sorted off-site.

And, talking about traveling with minimal impact, this is something I think about often. There is an expression in Swedish, “Flygskam” (“flight shame” in English), that captures some of my feelings. It’s a word you hear often and the debate regarding the need to fly has been heated — in media and among people in general (although, the pandemic has halted the discussion a bit), with some vowing never to fly again, others proposing a sort of cap-and-trade system for individual aviation, and everything in between. In short, it’s an issue that evokes all kinds of emotions and ideas — pretty much everyone in the country has an opinion.

My feelings when it comes to flying are best described as conflicted. I have family on different continents, as well as on both coasts of the US. Like many expats, if I don’t fly, I don’t see family. And because my family is so spread out, I fly quite a bit. I know I’m not the only one tossing the question of flying (or not) around in my head without being able to come to a satisfactory solution. I usually land on “until there is a better way of traversing the planet, I’ll have to make do with such ‘solutions’ as paying for the carbon offset”, for example.  

It’s easy to feel hopeless when reading the news about climate change and sustainability. As individuals, we often feel powerless when it comes to creating what we think of as “real change”. But we all have the capacity to do something and doing something, even if it seems “small”, is real change. 

In addition, seeking out organizations or networks of like-minded people is a great way to work towards change, and as expats, this can also serve as an opportunity to make friends and get to know your community. Our abilities, conditions, and resources vary but the power is in our hands, individually and collectively. 

By: Felicia Shermis

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How to Help Your Child Adjust to Life Abroad

Moving abroad with your family can be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You gain a valuable experience of embracing another culture, upgrading your career, finding new friends, and giving your children the chance to become citizens of the world. While the positives are many, a change of this proportion can also be a real challenge for the whole family. Here we offer tried and true ideas that can help your child adjust to life abroad.

Tips Before the Move

No guide or rulebook can tell you precisely what to do and what not to do — every circumstance and family is different. Your child’s age will play a big part in how you can communicate and prepare for life abroad. 

Regardless of age, involve your child in the relocation process as much as you can. Children don’t like being in the dark when it comes to big, life-changing decisions, much like adults. Being an active participant in the process will make them feel important and help them (and you) through the transition. You can do this in the following ways:

  1. Don’t wait till the last minute to tell them about the transition. Pick a time where you can share the news in peace and quiet and be prepared to answer any questions they may have. 
  2. Help them get better acquainted with the country you are moving to through learning about the culture, language, customs, etc.
  3. Allow your children to make some of the decisions. Your toddler, for example, can choose some of the toys or clothing pieces they will bring along. An older child may have a say in bigger decisions.
  4. Talk about leaving in an exciting way, but be careful not to overdo it with promises or to set the expectations too high.

Deciding on Schooling

If you have school-age children, one of the major decisions you and your partner will have to agree on is your child’s education in your new location. Oftentimes, you have to start the process of researching the education system and figure out your options before the actual move. This choice carries such weight because school plays a big role in how your child will adapt to the new environment. Not only does it provide an educational foundation, but the school can also become an extra support system to rely on and thrive in. 

Common questions regarding schooling revolve around if you want your child to experience a local school or attend an international school, for example (if that is an option). Other points to consider are what impact language barriers will (or won’t) have and what grade your child will go into in the new country. Certain countries also offer the option of homeschooling, so it won’t hurt to examine all the possibilities well before you decide which school your youngster will attend. 

Helping Your Child Adjust Once Abroad

We often think of children as easily adaptable, and in many aspects, this is correct. However, with a significant change such as moving your whole life abroad, your children might need a bit of extra help to settle in. Know that it takes time to feel at home in a new place and that it is normal to have ups and downs. 

New Home, Sweet Home

Once you’ve moved, you’ll want to make the home abroad feel like home. You might have decided to get a whole new set of furniture for your new home or settled on an already arranged and furnished space. Or maybe you are planning to move a portion of the furnishings from your homeland. Whichever option you decide on, our advice is to bring along a few familiar pieces of furniture or small items to help make your new home feel familiar. 

However, your child may resent the choice of the new space and environment, no matter how hard you try to make the experience pleasant. In those moments, it’s essential to acknowledge their feelings while also reminding them of the good sides of their new life — the places they’ll see, the people they’ll meet, etc. 

Maintain Contact with Family and Friends

When trying to help your child adjust to life abroad, the initial months are typically the most difficult. Your youngster will likely experience homesickness at this time. That’s why it is critical to secure contact with family and friends back home. Luckily, social media has made staying in touch with people all over the world easier than ever. Encourage your child to communicate with family and friends back home by sending messages and photographs. Dedicate a specific day/time of the week for video calls, for example, as this can aid with loneliness at first and help them to adjust to the new lifestyle.

Meet New People

While keeping in touch with family and friends is important, don’t let it prevent your child from making new connections. School is essential, but children should also cultivate friendships outside of class. Encourage them to join art clubs or sports teams or to participate in extracurricular activities. Setting up playdates or making friends with neighbors who have kids is also a great way to help your child integrate into the new community.

Relax  

Do not hide your happiness and enthusiasm! Every beginning is frightening but exciting and interesting at the same time. Whether you like it or not, children pick up your emotions, and what you project will reflect on them, either positively or negatively. 

Even if you are skeptical and insecure about the whole decision, give yourself a chance and, most importantly — time. Try to look at things from the bright side and use as much time as possible to talk and play with your little one. Remember — patience and lots of love are your best bet if you want to help your child adjust to life abroad!

Author bio:

Isabel Hoffman has been working with Easy Move KW as a consultant for the past four years. She is well versed in providing helpful tips and strategies related to the moving process. She enjoys spending time with her twin girls and cooking for her family in her free time.

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Traveling in the Age of Coronavirus, Take Two — 18 Months Later

At the very beginning of the coronavirus pandemic, I was heading back to the US from a trip to Europe. It was a couple of weeks before lockdowns were imposed in California where I live, and no one really knew much yet of what the coronavirus would come to mean. I for sure could not imagine the impact — how life would change and how devastating the pandemic would be for so many. If someone had told me then that some 18 months later we would still be living through it, I don’t think I would have believed it to be possible. Good thing too, because, if I had, I don’t think I would have coped well. 

Back then, the coronavirus was reported on heavily, but there were no mitigation measures in place yet in Europe or the US. Movement across borders was still unencumbered. In a piece I wrote about my trip back then, I said: “At every airport and train station, I expected there would be some kind of check, some inquiry as to where I was coming from and why I thought I needed to go to where I was going — no such thing. As a matter of fact, I think the entry into the UK was the smoothest I’ve ever experienced, they just waved me through.” 

This year, my experience of transatlantic travel is a little different. For starters, the eternal expat question of going back home for summer vacation has been fraught with all kinds of concerns. Is it safe? What are the rules — do I need to be vaccinated, take a test, quarantine? Are there flights to get to where I need to go? Will I be able to get back? What will it be like once I’m in place — can I see friends and family? What is open? These are all things I was asking myself when trying to decide whether to head to my home country or not. 

Ultimately, my daughter and I decided to take the trip, mostly on account of being fully vaccinated and having our own place to stay. Not that our vaccination status made the actual travel any easier — we still had to show negative covid tests and wear facemasks. No quarantining though — phew!

It wasn’t easy to get to where we wanted to go. Four flights and almost 24 hours later, we arrived — tired but relieved to have made it. At every layover, I was expecting we would be turned around and asked to board the next flight back. So confusing were the rules for transiting and arriving in different countries, I wasn’t certain we had gotten them right.

Flying from the US to Europe presented two vastly different worlds — the US, where airports were almost back to normal by the time we left, with full flights and most amenities open. The only big reminder was that everyone was wearing a facemask. Most everything else felt “normal”. Of course, things weren’t exactly normal — there were still signs everywhere to keep your distance and to wash your hands, for example. I guess I am so used to those exhortations by now, they don’t really register.

Very little felt normal once we boarded our transatlantic flight. This time of year, these planes are typically full — of tourists and returning expats. This one was almost empty. The only sign of normalcy was perhaps the crying baby a couple of rows in front of us. It happens pretty much every time, regardless of pandemic or not.

Once in Europe, Copenhagen airport was like a ghost town. Hardly any people, and pretty much everything closed. We were greeted at the far end of one of the terminals by people in face shields and masks offering corona tests. We already had negative tests to show so didn’t have to stop, but the visual greeting was stark. It felt like we were entering a post-apocalyptic world, straight out of a disaster movie. We had to walk through the entire airport to get to our connection. How that made sense, I’m still trying to figure out — why would they want us wandering from one end to the other when every single gate in between was open? In Stockholm, the same scenery. It was eerie. 

How to spend your vacation is, even in normal times, one of the biggest pieces in trying to make the expat life puzzle work. Often, when summer vacation rolls around, we are torn by the need to go home, the desire to see something new, or just to nest in our new location. We worry about whether we should cobble together stays in guestrooms to be near family, or opt for something more autonomous. We feel guilt over where we choose to spend our time — not enough in one place or too much in another. Those concerns have all but vanished these last couple of summers. The real concern has been if we’ll be able to see our near and dear at all, and if so, under what circumstances.

By: Felicia Shermis

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How to Lead an Eco-Friendly Lifestyle as an Expat

Relocating abroad isn’t an easy decision to make — in addition to leaving your loved ones and adapting to a new life, your identity might go through some turbulence, as well. In short, making the change from the familiar to something unknown can be stressful and disorienting, especially in the beginning. For many, living green has become an important part of way of life and identity, and figuring out how to maintain this lifestyle abroad can be an added challenge.

One way to deal with the stress of figuring out and adapting to a new environment is to mix old habits with new influences. Therefore, if staying green is important to you and your sense of identity, you should find ways to continue doing so in the new country — it can help make you feel at home and adapt better to your new surroundings. If you want to lead an eco-friendly lifestyle as an expat, but you’re unsure where to start, this article offers some tips.

Start with the Process of Relocation

There are several ways to make your relocation eco-friendly. If you opt for a DIY move, think about the things you’re leaving behind. Try to recycle or donate as many items as possible instead of just throwing them away. While packing, make sure to use eco-friendly, reusable materials.

If you plan to hire professional movers, take some time to research the companies you are considering. Choosing a green moving company that takes steps to minimize waste will do wonders for reducing your carbon footprint.

Choose an Eco-Friendly Home

This step will largely depend on the country you’re moving to and your budget. There are many financial decisions to make when moving overseas, and looking for a green home can significantly add to your expenses. However, if possible, opt for an environmentally friendly home.

Look for homes with energy-efficient features such as lighting, insulation, energy-saving appliances, and low-flush toilets. Solar panels are also a great option if you can find them. If you’re planning to stay for a more extended period, these green solutions can save you money in the long run.

Opt for Public Transport Instead of Cars

Another way to lead an eco-friendly lifestyle as an expat is to use public transportation instead of driving your own car. An even better option is to walk or bike whenever you can. Not only will these green modes of transportation minimize your carbon footprint, but they can provide numerous health benefits, as well. What’s more, they offer an excellent opportunity to explore the streets of your new city and discover your favorite shops, restaurants, or bookstores. You may even find that using alternative modes of transportation helps you get around faster and that you will become more confident and self-reliant.

Buy Local Food

Apart from paying attention to what you eat, think about where you buy your food. Shopping locally and at farmer’s markets helps the environment in many ways. The food in supermarkets is often pre-packed in plastic containers or wrappers that create unnecessary waste. Transportation of food to the store leaves a negative impact on the environment, too.

Buying in local stores and seasonal markets has many benefits — your fruit and veggies are likely to be of better quality, and there won’t be excessive packaging. Additionally, you will support the local economy and small businesses in your area. So, grab your reusable shopping bag and head to the nearest market!

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

You are probably already familiar with the three Rs — Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. Reducing consumption is something you can do anywhere so if that is already your habit, keep it up. If you are trying to identify ways to be more conscious of your consumption, start by thinking about food and clothes — what are your habits, what do you really need, what foods, if any, do you regularly throw away, etc.? Also, opt for items such as reusable water bottles or canvas shopping totes instead of plastic ones. Combine your leftovers to make a new meal and avoid food waste. Almost anything, from old clothes to furniture, can be reused or recycled. So, before throwing something away, check and see whether you can reuse, donate, sell, or recycle it.

Explore Your City’s Eco-Friendly Solutions

There are many ways to lead an eco-friendly lifestyle as an expat. Though it might be challenging initially, being green can help you adjust to your new home. Many cities such as Copenhagen, Curitiba, Singapore, Vancouver, and Cape Town are renowned for their eco-friendly focus. And many other cities are taking measures to become sustainable and green as well. So, explore your new place, and find out more about the steps you can take to preserve the environment. Whether it is through an NGO or the local community, you’ll meet like-minded people who will help you stick to your lifestyle.

Lastly, make sure to share what you know and care about with others and help them incorporate more eco-choices in their everyday routine. You’ll reaffirm your sense of identity, experience new things, and make friends along the way.

Author Bio:

Sarah Beckett is a freelance writer and consultant for allstatemoving.net. She has traveled a lot and lived in many countries around the world. In her blogs, she focuses on relocation issues and expat experience. Her favorite pastimes are hiking and cycling.

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Meeting People, Making Friends

I recently got the question from a friend of mine: What will you do once your kids are out of the house? Will you stay in the area, move back home? Go someplace else entirely? My initial reaction was that it’s a little early to be thinking about this just yet, but after some further consideration, I wonder if she’s not on to something. If nothing else, it’s an interesting thought experiment because it forces you to really ponder what it is that makes you tick. What are the most important pieces to a fulfilled existence?

The past 20 years have been about planning life with my kids’ interests in mind: schools, friends, their activities and their opportunities have been in focus. I may still have some time before becoming an empty nester, but if the past is any indication, these next four years will go by quickly. Maybe it’s not too soon, after all, to ask: what are my pieces to a fulfilled existence?

Once all the basics are taken care of — family, health, job, home, etc. I land on friends. Having good friends is really important. As I look back on what it’s like arriving in a foreign country and starting a new life, making friends has always been the toughest part of the journey. Starting new in a place where you don’t know anyone is difficult.

I also know from experience that the feeling of loneliness is one of the hardest to overcome. Being lonely and isolated can have a negative spiral effect on your ability to get settled — it’s tougher to go out and meet new people when you are without your familiar support system. Likewise, dealing with issues that are typically easily resolved back home may all of a sudden become harder as you struggle to make sense of your new surroundings.

I remember thinking when I left for the US that I knew something about the American temperament — the stereotypical American I knew about was loud, friendly, and perhaps a bit superficial. I am not sure that I’ve ever met a stereotypical American. However, I do remember being puzzled about the extreme friendliness I encountered, say in the park for example. Mothers I had never met before would chat about most everything and when it came time to leave we would exchange phone numbers and email addresses and promise to get together soon again.

The get-togethers would rarely take place and I came to learn that the process for making friends here is different from back home. I learned to take the extreme friendliness with a grain of salt and I remembered that making real friends takes time and work.

It took me years before I had made friends I felt at home with, friends who knew me and whom I knew and shared a history with. In the interim, I had acquaintances, I had good friends in the making, and, important to note — I had many opportunities to meet with, and learn from, new people in a new culture.

By: Felicia Shermis

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How To Recognize and Avoid Expat Burnout

The majority of expats will feel stressed and frustrated at some point during an assignment abroad. Some may even feel like moving to the new location was a mistake — often these feelings are temporary, but they can also be a sign of expat burnout. The following tips on how to recognize and avoid expat burnout may be helpful if you are struggling with life abroad, or if you feel like you have lost your sense of purpose or motivation.

What is Expat Burnout?

Expat burnout is a state of physical and emotional exhaustion caused by prolonged frustration and stress resulting from transition and significant life changes. The most common symptom is frequent thoughts about returning home and concluding the time abroad as quickly as possible. A person suffering from burnout may also feel anxious, overwhelmed, tired, unmotivated, isolated, irritated, and hopeless — it can affect everyday functioning and all aspects of life. 

It’s important to note that expat burnout can occur at any stage of your experience — it can happen when you’re preparing to move to another country, when you’ve just arrived and struggling to set up a new life, or when you already have an established expat life. Luckily for most, this feeling will go away, but some may suffer longer and find it more challenging to overcome. 

Figuring Out the Main Source of the Problem

In tackling expat burnout, it helps to be introspective — try to identify and analyze what really bothers you and what the underlying problem is. Think about what specifically it is that you dislike about where you are — is it the new city itself? Is there something else going on that is impacting how you feel about expat life — are you struggling at work, or is your new home uncomfortable? Are you lonely? Are you feeling hampered by language barriers? 

Language barriers in particular can add to feelings of alienation. It’s easy to see that if communicating in your new environment is a constant source of frustration, that that can significantly impact the quality of life. Mastering the language to a point where you feel comfortable can help overcome culture shock and alienation, as difficulties communicating with others can hinder creating connections and slow down the process of assimilation. 

Once you have identified what it is that bothers you, think about if there is anything you can do to improve the situation to ensure that you make your home abroad feel like home. Also, consider how a decision to leave earlier than planned would affect your future — what would it be like to move back home, or to another place? How would your life be different, would it be better?

Understanding the Process

It’s easier to take concrete steps and build a solid foundation for the future if you keep these things in mind:

  • Accept the feelings — Recognize that the uncomfortable feelings are a signal that you have stretched beyond your limits and must change something.
  • Self-care is a priority — Basic self-care includes listening to your body and mind. Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed is a sign to take some time to prioritize your needs.
  • Have realistic expectations — Don’t put unrealistic pressure on yourself. Take back control of your life and reorganize it step by step. 
  • Don’t be too hard on yourself — It’s normal to have a bad day, a bad week, or a bad month, especially if you’re an expat trying to adjust to life abroad. You may encounter extremely frustrating moments as an expat, but you’ll probably experience incredibly happy moments as well. One day you may feel like wanting to pack your bags and book the next flight home, but you may see things completely differently the next day. Whenever you have a hard time, take some time to cool off. Maybe you’ll realize that you are in just the right place — the very place you need to be to grow and reach your goals.

Steps to Take to Build a Foundation for Long-Term Expat Success

Once you have gained some awareness, you can start working towards building a solid basis for your expat life. The following are deliberate things you can do to set yourself up for expat success:

Building stability and routines — Create a weekly routine that feels right for you. For a start, regularly chat with your loved ones back home. Also, plan nutritious meals for the whole week. A balanced diet will support your health and energy needs. Moreover, find continuity through some basic rituals. It can be as simple as having breakfast or coffee at the same time each day.

Physical activity to improve mood and energy — When you’re struggling with long-term stress, it can lower your immune system and impact your mood. Regular physical activity can help you fight all of these symptoms. It can be yoga, jogging, or anything that makes you feel good, energized, and optimistic. If you don’t like traditional exercise, walks are a great alternative. Being active can improve your mood and provide additional health benefits.

Surround yourself with positivity — Meeting people and making friends will help you avoid expat burnout. It helps to have positive people in your life and an environment that promotes your development. Try to resolve negative feelings and thoughts as they arise. Sometimes all it takes is seeing them from a different perspective, other times it takes digging a little deeper.

Get out of town — If you can, have a change of scenery and travel somewhere, whether it’s a brief day trip or a weeklong getaway — it might just be what you need. It can help you clear your mind and recharge your mental batteries. You can travel to a new place or to where you already have a friend or acquaintance. Seeing a familiar face can be a mood booster. You can also take a trip home if the situation allows you. Family, friends, and familiar food will be a much-needed refresher. You will probably realize whether you really want to go back home, or if you are just nostalgic.

Find time to relax — Sometimes, a little time is all you need, so set some time aside each day to relax and unwind. Do something that nurtures your soul. You can join a meditation class, find a creative hobby, read a good book — whatever works for you. Relaxing activities support your well-being, and they should be a part of your daily routine. 

Explore the city — Be curious about discovering new places. Walking around your new city/town can be relaxing and fun. Try out a new cafe or restaurant, visit a museum, etc. You might discover many exciting things and refresh your outlook on expat life. 

Staving off expat burnout has much to do with recognizing your needs and building a structure that supports them. Remember that you will do yourself a favor if you choose to be positive. However, it’s even more important to trust your instincts — just make sure you don’t make any rash decisions based on a temporary feeling.

Author bio:

Meghan Wilson is currently working as an operational manager for Transparent International NYC. Being an expat herself, she started making various helpful materials such as blogs, tutorials, and workshops for fellow expats. She strongly believes everyone can have an amazing and successful experience such as she has. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys cooking, reading, and meditation.

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What’s In an Identity — A Lot It Turns Out…

What is in an identity, and how does what we tell ourselves about how we fit in play into how we approach life? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, as in these pandemic times I keep reading and hearing about people who have had to reevaluate and reinvent themselves to make life under a new set of rules work.  

In my case, it wasn’t the pandemic per se that forced my rethinking, but rather a friend who pointed out that a longstanding “truth” I’ve held about myself might need to be reevaluated — the truth that I don’t really know where “home” is, that my whereabouts are temporary. She said to my most recent spiel about not being firmly planted anywhere, that perhaps it’s time to turn that thinking around. She has a point. Ever since I moved to the US more than 25 years ago, I have lived in the same general area — regardless of anything else, you’d think that would be enough to settle the question of being firmly planted somewhere.

Not only have I lived in the same area, but I have also lived almost my entire adult life in the US. By now, I am a citizen who has voted in the last four presidential elections, I have three children who were born here. I have good friends and favorite places. I think I can even say that there are many “American cultural traits” that suit me.

Seeing it spelled out, it seems obvious I have established roots. And yet, ever since I arrived, I have felt like it’s just a matter of time before I move back home. The question of where I should live has, to some extent, always been on my mind. At this point, I don’t even know if I understand why I have this mindset, it’s almost like a knee-jerk reaction. It’s part of my identity.

I think this is how we tend to operate with many things in life. We get used to thinking of ourselves a certain way, it’s how we fit in, and it’s how others relate to us. Knowing how to function when our truths about ourselves crumble — whatever they are — can be disorienting. I know it has given me pause for thought.

I can’t help but think about this in the larger context of what we as a society are going through right now. Not only have we all had to alter how we go about daily life, so many of us have also had to change what we know about ourselves, and how we see ourselves — the breadwinner not being able to provide because of job loss and thus having to rely on others; the caretaker not being able to help elderly parents; the social butterfly being isolated; the traveler stuck at home. Anyone over 65 having to think of themselves as vulnerable, whether they feel that way or not.

Our current times and circumstances are extreme, of course, but the experience of having to rethink how you see yourself in the world is not unique — it happens to most of us at different points in life. So how do you move forward when important truths about yourself, or the society you live in, are upended?

I think there is something to say for Stephen Hawking’s quote about change: “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” But it’s also important to note that that doesn’t mean it’s easy. I try to remind myself that it is in the seams of the old and new that we can learn the most about ourselves and where we can make the most progress. Ultimately, it’s how we react to what we learn that determines how we move forward.

By: Felicia Shermis

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Resolve and Gratitude

2021. It’s here. I’ll admit, I’ve been keenly awaiting the day when I can say it’s the new year. And I know I’m not alone — as far as I can tell, the whole planet was ready to say goodbye to 2020 and enter into something new, something tied to hope. The past ten months have given pause for thought in so many ways, as lives and livelihoods have been turned upside down, marked by grief and isolation, uncertainty and fear, but also by a sense of community and spirit, by resolve and ingenuity.

We may have had great hopes pinned to the new year, but so far it has not lived up to its hype. No, it feels much the same as December did, with rising coronavirus infection rates, restrictions, and economic peril. I think we all knew things wouldn’t change overnight, but still, we hoped we would wake up on January 1 and things would be different.

Typically, we start the new year with resolve, thinking that now is when we begin our personal journeys of betterment — we’ll lose that weight, learn a new skill, get a better job. This year feels different as most of the things we used to take for granted in everyday life — going to the gym, grabbing dinner with friends, taking in a concert — are not available to us. Perhaps most impactful of all, we can’t really make plans right now because so much is uncertain.

While I’ve never been one for making new year’s resolutions, I have always thought it to be a good time for taking stock and thinking about what’s working and not — in your own life as well as in a larger perspective. This time around, I’ve mostly been thinking about what it is that keeps us going through times like these.

I keep landing on two things — meaningful connections and hope. These are not unique ideas — it’s well known that connections with other people are crucial for our well-being, as is hope.

Swedish author and artist Jonas Gardell wrote an essay recently where he said (translated from Swedish): “To gather with others to laugh, shed a few tears, and play and dance and experience things together is what makes us human.”

Part of the reason 2020 proved so difficult was that we were instructed to fear other people, to steer clear when meeting on the street, to not touch. Likewise, the physical reminders of what we are living through are everywhere — facemasks, social distancing markers, long lines outside stores. There is no escaping the state of things.

That brings us to hope. Without it, the early goings of this year will be unbearable because, as the experts keep pointing out, in many parts of the world, things are likely to get worse before they get better. But we know change is coming, and to a large degree, it’s coming as a result of collaboration and innovation (which in itself is hopeful) — the coronavirus vaccine has been developed in record time. There is hope.

On a more personal level, I try to maintain hope by thinking about that which, in spite of everything, has been good. The biggest silver lining has been an extra year with my youngest child at home. She was supposed to go off for her freshman year at college last fall but decided to defer when it was clear that her school would only be doing online instruction.

And because of lockdown orders and limited outside social contacts, we have spent a lot of time together. While it hasn’t all been easy, it has been meaningful. And we have gotten to know each other in new ways — my daughter taught me to play “Just Dance”, and she has explained the intricacies of “The Bachelorette”. We have taken long walks and baked cakes and learned about Swedish castles. We have laughed and cried and on occasion driven each other nuts.

I know this was not the year she had hoped for. It was not what I had hoped for. Still, I have cherished the time we’ve spent together — time we would not have had were it not for the extreme circumstances of the past ten months.

2020 was a beast of a year. But, just like meaningful connections are crucial for survival, so is hope, and I am hopeful that 2021 will be better!

By: Felicia Shermis

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How to Make a Home Abroad Feel Like Home

Moving abroad comes with many challenges, and ups and downs. One of the biggest causes of homesickness is a feeling of unfamiliarity. When you find yourself in dramatically changed surroundings, it’s easy to feel lonely and out of place. Typically, this is when you’ll crave your everyday items, people, and places that you know so well. When you don’t have these comforts available, you may struggle to adjust. One way to cope is to actively start building a sense of home in your new environment. The simple steps outlined in this article can help you make a home abroad truly feel like home, and make you feel like you belong.

Bring your Anchors

When starting life abroad, it’s crucial to have your “anchors” — small pieces of your home country around you. Familiar items will soothe you whenever homesickness tries to take its toll. You may find solace in the memories that those items represent or the emotions they bring out in you. Items that reflect your native roots, such as local spices, books in your native language, etc., will also give you the comfort that you long for.

There is nothing more calming than having photos of your loved ones displayed around your home. New friends who come to visit may ask about the photos, which can, in turn, serve as a kick-starter of easy conversations and bring back beautiful memories and anecdotes. When you start to have new experiences abroad, you can add photos and merge your two worlds into one you’ll enjoy living in.

Home Decor can Make a Difference

Do you know the saying, “Home is where the heart is?” We believe it to be very accurate. In addition to small mementos brought from home that restore your balance and happiness, there are more ways to decorate your home to make you feel better. For example, if you moved to the US from Paris, you might buy an Eiffel tower print for your home as a way to evoke pleasant memories. You can pick any print from your native country and display it — a famous landmark, your country’s flag, a beautiful landscape, a local animal — whatever makes you feel good.

In addition to that, you can research some inspirational quotes and place them around different areas of your home. They can give you a real boost when you’re starting to feel down.

Familiar Food Will Make a Home Abroad Feel Like Home

There is no better way to feel at home than having your favorite snacks in the kitchen and making your favorite meals. Food has the power to “teleport us” right back into our warm family home. Feel free to call your friends and family for some easy-to-make recipes when the “taste of home” beckons — it’s an opportunity to connect as well as to get the cooking information you need.

Familiar Smells

Sensory memories of your home are very meaningful. Most of us have at least one smell that instantly reminds us of home. Take some time and think back on your childhood memories or a fantastic experience that you had in your country, and then pick one smell that resonates the best with it. It can be fresh lavender in your clothes drawers, a scented candle, or freshly cut flowers in a vase. Surrounding yourself with soothing and comforting smells will make your time spent in your new country calmer and more enjoyable.

Leave your Mark

Our living environment constantly influences our mood with indoor climate, colors, textures, and shapes. To avoid expat stress and depression, you want to make sure not to feel like a stranger in your home — it’s crucial to make a space fitting for you, your needs, and your habits. Maybe you’ll want to invest in a comfortable chair or a big bookcase. Perhaps you need to set up a peaceful spot for yoga and meditation or organize an office area in your bedroom. You know what ignites your happiness and what has the power to calm you.

Connect with People Online

One of the best remedies for homesickness and the best recipe to make a home abroad feel like home is building new friendships. Nowadays, because of the coronavirus pandemic, meeting people in a traditional way is difficult. Luckily, there are many free and easily available tools for communication with loved ones. You can keep in touch with family and friends via various conferencing apps like Zoom, Skype, etc. Schedule frequent calls and discuss what’s happening in everybody’s lives — it will help you stay connected, even when you are far away.

You can also try to find fellow expats — online forums such as Facebook, Meetup, and other social media platforms are good places to start and it’s often not as hard as you think — you may find that many live in your community. Connecting with people online can be a great way of starting new friendships. And who knows, once the world has gone back to something resembling normal, you may find that these are the very people with whom you’ll enjoy an evening out!

We hope that our tips can prove helpful in making you feel at home, even in a faraway place.

Author bio: Jennifer Brown has been working as a freelance blogger for over 3 years, writing for Tik Tok Moving and Storage and other publications. She writes blogs with the main focus on international relocation and its influence on people. Jennifer likes to share her own expat experience and advice on how to avoid homesickness.

 Photo used:

https://www.pexels.com/photo/photography-of-woman-sitting-on-chair-near-window-761872/

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Pandemic Confusion or Culture Clash?

Moving between different parts of the world is pretty tricky right now — travel restrictions have made it impossible for most people, and for those of us who can travel internationally (because of dual passports in my case), nothing is quite the way it used to be. And I’m not just talking about the general nervousness one feels at this point in time when around strangers in tight quarters, mask requirements, and social distancing provisos. No, it feels as if something else has changed as well.

While the coronavirus pandemic in some ways has been an equalizer when it comes to understanding the lives of others — most countries in the world have been affected, and we have all had to make similar sacrifices — it has also upended “normal rules of engagement”. We don’t go about life the way we used to and so some of what I thought I knew about life in my home country of Sweden, for example, have been turned upside down.

I don’t actually know if it’s because of the pandemic or if it’s just I, who after 25 years abroad, have lost touch with my home country, and I’m just now noticing. There has always been a contrast in way of life and temperament between the people of the two countries. And I have never stopped identifying as, and feeling, “Swedish”. As a matter of fact, I have been certain that I am very typically Swedish, whatever that means.

But after spending the past month in Sweden, I’m wondering to myself if I have somehow crossed a Rubicon of national identity? Because I don’t think I have ever felt as culturally thrown off as I do now — not even when I first came to the US as an expat with a steep learning curve about all things American.  

It’s well-known that Sweden did not shut down in the same way many other countries did when the pandemic first took hold. Although, contrary to popular belief, there have been plenty of measures put in place, such as social distancing guidelines and limits on groups gathering, etc. Many places and activities have had to alter their services or shut down completely. But elementary schools, for example, have remained open throughout.

Early on in the pandemic, when I was in California under strict lockdown measures, I would get provoked when talking to my family back home — how could they still be functioning more or less like normal? What do you mean you are going to the gym? And how can you be so relaxed about sending your kids to school? You are throwing a birthday party — with friends invited — for your 10-year old? I was probably mostly jealous. But I was also surprised — I hadn’t expected this of Sweden and Swedes.

The way I viewed Sweden, after having spent so many years away, it seemed the least likely of countries to take the tack it did in fighting the coronavirus pandemic. I was certain Sweden would have been in lockstep with its Nordic neighbors, at the very least. But, doing its own thing — it just doesn’t seem Swedish to me.

Maybe it isn’t Sweden or Swedes that have changed, maybe I have changed. Perhaps Sweden has always been more individualistic than I realize. After spending the past month here, I can say that daily life has been very different from California. Not that coronavirus isn’t present, it very much is. However, there is a marked difference in how it impacts daily life, and also how it’s discussed in the news, for example. 

I have to admit that it’s been a nice mental break to experience the lighter restrictions and the more measured tone of the debate around how to go about life in a pandemic. At the same time, I am torn because it doesn’t feel quite right. I’m used to wearing a mask wherever I go and give a wide berth when meeting people. I have a hard time in my mind making sense of the two different approaches. I have a hard time reconciling in my mind the fact that Sweden is an outlier in its response. 

As in many parts of Europe, coronavirus cases are on the rise in Sweden again and just the other day, the region of the country I’m in announced stricter recommendations to curb the latest increase. When I read the updated guidelines, what struck me the most was the way the document was written. While it had all the typical social distancing recommendations you see elsewhere, such as work from home if you can, and don’t socialize outside of the people you live with, it was all worded as just that — recommendations. I’m curious to see what the impact will be on daily life — will I notice a difference, will people comply?

I don’t know what to expect — my cultural knowledge barometer has been a little shaky lately. Maybe it’s the pandemic. Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s just a matter of accepting that nothing is quite as it should be right now. 

By: Felicia Shermis

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Guide to Overcoming Language Barriers

Whether you are moving or traveling abroad, overcoming language barriers can make your life much easier. As someone who had to overcome this frustrating barrier not once, but twice, I can tell you that it’s doable. As someone who doesn’t have any talent for learning languages, I can also tell you that it takes time.

Finding yourself in a new environment, surrounded by people you don’t know can make you feel pretty uncomfortable as it is. When you don’t understand a word they are saying, even the smallest everyday tasks become daunting. This is one of those situations that can make you feel completely helpless.

There is a need to belong that is completely natural for all of us. And if you are relocating, you can’t just turn around and go back home when you feel out of place. It takes digging deep to do what you can to overcome this challenge. It turns out that learning the local language is key to social adaptation in many countries. Trust me, the first days are the hardest, but it gets better. Here are some useful strategies for overcoming language barriers that have worked for me.

As usual, you should start with the basics. Try to learn a handful of words and common phrases used in that region, such as please, hello, goodbye, water, and bathroom. This way, you are showing that you are polite and that you are making an effort.

You should also be able to ask if someone speaks your language. If you’re lucky enough to find someone who does, avoid learning idioms and slang words at the beginning. Expressions that don’t have a straightforward meaning are often hard to understand. Remember, you want to avoid confusion as much as possible, not show off your language skills.

Always be friendly and polite. People are more likely to help you when they see that you’re friendly and that you’re trying. I, for example, always smile and say Hello! in the local language before I say Do you speak English? Be careful not to raise your voice because you may come across as rude. Whenever you feel the need to speak more loudly, just speak more slowly. Also, if someone raises their voice, keep in mind that they are probably just trying to help, they are not yelling at you.

In addition to adjusting your tone, use repetition when needed. To make yourself clear, repeat the same thing you said twice. Try to repeat what you said in a different way to increase your chances of being understood. Also, politely ask others to speak slowly or repeat themselves as needed.

As much as I love Charades, the game stops being fun when you’re forced to do it in real life. As it turned out, my years of practice actually helped me when I was dealing with a language barrier. Using hand gestures and pointing at things helped me many times.

Sometimes, you’ll have a much better chance of getting your needs met by writing down what you want to say. Also, when someone tells you something important like a name or an address, ask them to write it down. I always carried a piece of paper and a pen wherever I went. Once, I had to write down the name of the medicine I needed so I could show it to the pharmacist — that literally saved my life.

The first time I moved abroad, I started learning the local language by myself but I was not satisfied with my progress, so I decided to take lessons at a local language school. Attending classes with a group of students was a perfect opportunity to make friends, gain confidence, and have fun while learning. The second time I moved, I became friends with a local who was willing to teach me twice a week. She spoke fluent English, but she wouldn’t use it unless it was absolutely necessary in order to force me to leave my comfort zone.

Another thing I’ve learned is that I can’t afford to be embarrassed. Making people laugh is not such a bad thing in this case, on the contrary. So what if you mispronounce a word or five?  So what if your accent is funny? Don’t worry about grammar either. Do not push yourself too hard since striving for perfection can hold you back. As long as the locals understand what you are trying to say, you’re fine. Just speak slowly and enunciate as you speak.

If you have WIFI on your phone, use Google Translate — one of the most important apps for expats and tourists overcoming language barriers in a foreign country. Simply type or say what you want and the app will translate it immediately. Of course, there are many other apps you can use to study and test your knowledge.

My final piece of advice is to be persistent. Overcoming language barriers is a slow process that requires patience and determination. Quitting won’t get you anywhere. Don’t let a language barrier stand in the way of making friends and business connections and exploring a new culture.

 

Author bio:

Erica Carr is a stay at home mom that focuses on raising her daughter and writing helpful articles about moving and living abroad. She is currently collaborating with Good Neighbors Moving Company, a local relocation team from Los Angeles.

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Navigating Life in a New Place During a Pandemic — A Real Life Story

When Jody moved with her husband David from Seattle to London at the very end of February this year, they were fulfilling a longstanding dream of living and traveling abroad. “We were going to be jet setters, travel off the beaten path, and get a view of the world through a different lens.” A couple of weeks after they arrived in the UK, the country started shutting down in response to the coronavirus pandemic. For Jody and David, this meant that a completely different kind of adventure was in store than the one they had imagined.

Jody and David had spent the past 19 years in Seattle, raising three children, traveling when they could, and dreaming of one day living abroad. It was no accident that they chose this year for moving — their kids were all independent with the youngest about to finish his junior year of college at a school he loved and where he had a big network of friends, and the two older kids settled in their careers. Both Jody and David had had health scares recently and felt keenly that it was now or never.

But the ripple effects of the spread of the coronavirus and subsequent shutdowns across the world turned everything upside down. For starters, their youngest had to leave his college campus, and because Jody and David had just rented out their house, he could not move back home. “We’re lucky that our kids are close and that he could move in with his older brother.”

The kids’ plans to come visit in London have all had to be put on hold, with no way of knowing when they will be able to travel again. The uncertainty of when she will next see her kids, and the feeling of not being there for them, has been one of the most difficult things to bear so far. “Had I had a crystal ball, I would have never moved,” says Jody, adding that she also feels like she is missing out on quality time they could have spent together during the shutdown.

When I talk to Jody, in mid-June, via video conferencing, it’s clear early on in our conversation that the through-line of the decision to move was their deep desire to travel and explore. They were willing to make big sacrifices in order to make it happen — Jody and David took a financial hit as David opted to stay with his current employer Facebook, but without the perks of an expat contract. They thought long and hard about the decision as they also had aging and medically fragile family at home. In the end, they figured it would be easy enough to make regular trips back home to visit.

Of course, in the age of the pandemic, nothing has worked out quite like expected. Jody has found herself navigating life in a new place during a pandemic that ground most everything to a halt, complicating the most basic actions, and putting all her pre-move logic and plans to the test.

The first task to tackle upon arrival in London was to find housing, as they had decided to wait with renting a place until they could see it in person. Knowing that their furniture would be delivered shortly, they looked at 18 rentals in two days and found a place they liked — it had much of what they were looking for — an extra bedroom for guests, the right location, a short commute for David, and something they didn’t know they wanted but really came to appreciate — an outdoor patio.

As this was pre Covid-shutdowns, they signed a two-year lease in accordance with their original plan to stay for at least a couple of years. Little did they know that the extra bedroom wouldn’t see a single guest but rather would become David’s home office, little had they expected that the patio they didn’t even want would become a treasured hangout spot.

The furniture ended up being two months delayed because of Covid-19 — Jody and David spent those first couple of months sleeping on mattresses on the floor. And had it not been for some lucky breaks they would not have had much of anything because as they were about to move in, London was completely shutting down. An American family going back home gave them some of the basics, including various electrical equipment.

The move to London meant that Jody had quit her job in Seattle. When asked what her thought process was regarding work, she said she was not planning on working in a traditional sense. However, she did have ideas for how to use her travel insights to start something catering to those looking for unique travel experiences.

Jody says the idea stemmed from her friends always asking her about her travels and the experiences her family had when traveling — what their “secrets” were. She says “my friends encouraged me to start a blog and to record what we were doing. I was hesitant at first but decided to do it. And I was thinking of other ways I could use my knowledge of travel to build something of my own. Of course, right now, there isn’t much traveling happening, so I have had to reevaluate what to do with that.”

An aspect of life abroad that has not been as expected is making social connections. When we talk about what it’s like to try to get settled in a new location during a pandemic and subsequent lockdown, Jody starts by pointing out that she is very social. As an illustration of just how social she is, she says, “we had planned company coming for nine weeks straight and had only two days to ourselves during that time, that’s how busy we were going to be.” None of the visits ended up happening of course, and in addition, all the outings Jody had booked had to be canceled.

Since no one’s been able to visit, and social life, in general, has been difficult, Jody explains that she and David have had to rely more on each other than they have in a long time — probably since they first got married. She says: “It helps that we’ve been married for so long. We can give each other space and permission to do our own things while also being there to support each other. This time period of lockdown has reinforced that I’m really glad I’m married to him. I think it’s actually been good for our marriage.”

While Jody chalks up most of what has happened since they moved as part of the overall experience, she does feel like Covid-19 and the consequences it has brought, has made many things more complicated — not just the social aspects but all the little practical things that have been impacted — from not having any of their furniture for such a long time, to the difficulty of connecting with people to get basics taken care of such as banking, utilities, and phones. She gives the simple example of clothing: “Because our stuff didn’t arrive on time, I didn’t have any spring clothes, and because stores were closed, I had a hard time buying anything new as I couldn’t try on — I got a few things but nothing really fit as I was not sure of European sizing. So when a spring heatwave arrived, I was stuck with winter clothes.”

Jody shares another example of just how complicated it is to get things done during Covid-19. She says: “I’ve been trying to go to the US Embassy to take care of a real estate transaction, but they are temporarily closed for any non-emergency services. After hunting around, I found a notary that was wicked expensive that does this international seal that is supposed to be recognized everywhere. We paid and then got the document overnighted to the States, but, in the end, the lender won’t accept it. In today’s digital world, who would have thought this to be such a headache. We started the transaction at the end of July and still don’t have it completed. I wonder if we ever will. There is nobody to help you navigate through this, you learn by falling on your bruised face over and over again.”

Staying positive has been a challenge. Jody says, “I have had to dig deep not to sink deep”. Part of digging deep has meant that she started working out every day as well as doing yoga with her husband every morning (something she says that people who know them well would never believe). And, the blog has been cathartic. She may not be documenting her travels through Europe in her blog right now, but there are plenty of other things to write about — discoveries in and around London, for example.

Volunteering has been yet another way Jody has stayed positive. It has given her a purpose, and it’s been a way to get connected to her community. She got in touch with a group that runs a hotline for people who needs help with grocery pick-ups, and she was paired with an 89-year old man who lives a block away. As Jody describes it, it has been mutually beneficial, and she feels like she has built a friendship with this man that she has never met. She picks up his groceries two to three times a week, and over time, it’s become more than that: “We talk to each other. Mostly we communicate via email, but we also chat on the phone. I have learned things from him, he has told me about places I would never have found on my own. I can’t wait to meet him.”

Another volunteering job has led to more friendships. Jody works with a group that targets disadvantaged kids who need books. She helps with sorting and packaging books to be delivered, and the people she works with have become her friends. She says “it just goes to show that you have to try different things before you find the ones that fit. I tried other volunteering jobs here that did not work out, for various reasons. And now, here I am with what’s turned out to be a really nice experience.”

At the end of our conversation, I ask Jody about what has been the hardest and what has worked the best. As is easy to imagine, being away from family without the option of traveling freely to see them has been the hardest by far. When it comes to what has worked the best, Jody says, “To force myself to do something for someone else and getting out of my comfort zone — being comfy doesn’t lead to change.”

Jody’s blog: www.undercoverexpat.com

By: Felicia Shermis

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